The kiss had contained a deep feeling of improperness, a sensation that we never were meant to be more than mother and son. This emotion, this basic truth about ourselves penetrated our souls and bodies, reducing and removing our primitive lust for each other's sexual contact.That simple kiss had contained what I like to call an antidote for the sexual attraction we had formed for each other. Our minds and bodies now agreed that there was nothing to find pleasurable in sex between mother and son.So we laid comfortably and at ease next to each other, talking for the first time about the dreams we had of each other. My mothers were very similar to mine, but a few of mine were more disturbing than hers, including the one I had experienced that very morning.We spend nearly the whole morning talking in bed, telling each other the most private of private secrets and thoughts. I had never felt so close to my mother before that day. After we bared our souls to each other that morning, we made. Mom didn't keepan endless supply of carrots around, and I wasn't always able to get one.Since it was getting to be summer, it was getting dark later in the day.When it would start to get dark, if I hadn't had a carrot, I just made anexcuse that I was getting tired, and went to my room. If I didn't keep allthe lights on bright, or if they weren't bright enough, immediately whenthe sun set I'd fall asleep and stay sleeping until sunrise. And there wasone time when I was in the bathroom, and shut the light off before openingthe door to leave, and then discovered that I'd forgotten the toilet lidup - something Mom really hated. Since I could see in the dark, I turnedback to shut the lid. Mom found me fast asleep on the bathroom floor. Atleast three hours had passed. Nobody knew where I was. They were allworried. I told her I was just tired, but she worried that there might besomething wrong with me and wanted to call a doctor. I had to tell herthat legally, I don't exist, and that no.
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